That day, I have asked to break with the people that I most care about. How sad I am and that's the most sick day for me. I may have disappointed him. But, I really in the dead end. I do not know what I should do and my soul really felt dizzy because of I have been divided into two sides specifically, him and my family.
I had to being apart with him because everyday I am being nagged by my brother. I know my brother loves me and it all for my goodness. But, my heart is really pained when the person that I care about was, like a disappointed, sad and is like sulking with me. Didn't he knows that I am really hurts when saw him became like that? I know, maybe all of his siblings also angry with me. I understand their hearts. I'm also going to be angry when my brother or my sister was hurt by someone else. But, please believe me this and understand me. It was not my intention to hurt him. Oh, not at all! Forgive me!
Since that day, after his phone's credit runs out, he no longer leads any message to me. I also do not know how is he right now. In good conditions or not? My friends also such as going far away further than me. Is it I am the problem? Why? When I keep-thinking back, where were my friends could be that are who always with me ? Maybe they also do not know what happened because I could not tell this matter to them. What will they say then? Oh God!
How sad I am!
My heart feels like want to scream with all of my effort. Maybe I seem like so happy and such as didn't care at all about him but that was not true! I can seem very cheerful always at the outside but no one understand that every second so miserable for me when I remembered him! I have to keep this things inside of my deep heart. But, because I can't pretend anymore, I told all of this to you, my Diary. Oh God! Does it have the wisdom behind this? Now, I was just able to put all of this to You.